Friday, 19 June 2015

Coretan di Jumat Siang

Hi, pitches! I'm back. It's been long time gue gak nulis di sini. Entahlah, beberapa waktu terakhir ini gue lagi engga mood aja buat nulis-nulis hehe. Lama banget, yah? Lebih dari 2 bulan ada kali yah. Ah, pasti gak ada yang kangen juga sih gue jarang nulis di blog gue. Hmm alasan gue tiba-tiba ingin nulis adalah.. Lagi pengen curahin isi hati gue. Dateng ke blog cuma ada butuhnya.  Ih, engga kok. Ada kala nya gue mau nulis di blog ketika suasana hati gue mungkin engga ada yang ngerti. Duh, feeling so blue. Iya, gue lagi feeling so blue banget akhir-akhir ini. 

Oh ya, berhubung baru di bulan puasa, gue mau ngucapin.. Selamat menunaikan ibadah puasa bagi yang menjalankan dan maafin gue kalau gue pernah ada salah sama kalian baik di sengaja atau engga. Marhaban ya Ramadhan.

Hmm balik lagi gue mau curhat nih. 

Entah secara tiba-tiba, gue sekarang lagi dilanda mood swing yang bisa dibilang bikin orang sekitar gue jadi bingung. Ya, gue jujur aja gue lagi mood swing banget sejak libur. Entah karena gue gak ada kerjaan jadi tiba-tiba muncul pikiran di kepala gue yang bikin gue jadi mikir ke hal-hal yang sebenernya gak mungkin terjadi atau mungkin sebentar lagi akan terjadi. Karena gue mikir hal random dan kebanyakan nyangkut perasaan, maka mood swing melanda. Mulai mikirin bentar lagi gue duduk di bangku kelas 12, mikirin kuliah, mikirin gimana caranya doi bisa dapet kepercayaan dari bokap sama nyokap gue.... Sampe flashback  mikirin kalo udah gede gue jadi apa kalau gue masih ragu milih jurusan. 

Terus, biasanya kalo lagi liburan gini yang engga ada kerjaan terus kalau mau chat sama doi juga engga ada topik takutnya bikin doi bosen dengan isi chat 'Kenapaaa?' 'Enggaaa' 'Ooh yaudah okeeeyy' 'Hehehe' 'Kenapaaa' terus aja sampe adzan Maghrib hingga akhirnya chat yang sama bisa dipecah dengan 'Selamat buka puasaaaaaa' sama kayak pecahnya lamunan lu pas nunggu buka puasa dan akhirnya adzan Magrib berkumandang.

Yah, selain mood swing... Gue juga lagi kebingungan apa yang mesti gue lakuin selagi nunggu waktu buka. Tiduran, main game, main laptop, dengerin lagu, buka Path & Instagram and so on. Sumpah, gaada yang lebih monochrome lagi gitu dari libur semester ini? Eh lagian dari tahun ke tahun juga gue kayak gini. 

Terus sekarang yang bikin gue worried adalah.... Gue sekarang komunikasi sama doi juga jadi rada engga intens kaya biasanya. Ya karena gue engga tau mau ngomongin apa sama doi dan doi yang suka nanya gue pengen ngomongin apa.. Well, I have no idea. Makanya, gue jadi nyari kesibukan sendiri gitu. Gue main apa kek, nonton terus chat kalau gue lagi pegang hp. Kalau lu mikir gue bosen sama doi.. Ga. Gue gak bosen sama sekali. Jujur aja sih gue ga pernah ngerasa bosen sama pasangan gue. Gue cuma ga enak gitu ke doi kalau chat nya gitu terus... Makanya gue nyari kegiatan yang bisa bikin gue nemu topik buat dibicarain tapi kenyataannya ya gini aja gue diem di rumah dengan aktivitas yang sama tiap waktunya. Duh, maafin...... Gue pengen aja chat sama doi tapi gue gatau mau ngomong apa. Gue juga takut gitu kejadian gue sama mantan pas lagi kayak gini bikin jadi tiis-tiisan gitu deh. Bales tiis apa engga ada topik? Gue milih engga ada topik sih. Kalau dibales dingin itu sakit.... Hhe hhw hhr.

Gue random banget sumpah curhatnya. Yaudah deh. Terus, gue bingung mesti gimana. Terus gue yang lagi mood swing gini.... How to handle it?

Pusing gak baca curhatan gue? Gue tau lu pusing bacanya. Yah who cares tho sometimes expressive writing will heal your feelings.

Daannn seperti biasa, gue tulis-tulis lirik yang pas banget sama gue sekarang. Karena yah menurut gue lirik lagu kadang suka bisa ngedefine apa yang gue rasain sekarang.

In the meantime we let it go
At the roadside
We used to know
We can let this drift away
Oh, we let this drift away
At the bay side
You used to show
In the moonlight
We let it go
We can let this drift away
Oh, we let this drift away

- Imagine Dragons, Shots


Can't you forgive me?
At least just temporarily
I know that this is my fault

I should've been more careful (come on)
- Ariana Grande, One Last Time

Now the days are getting cooler
- Lorde, No Better

Ah sudahlah. Huehehehehehehehehehe gatau dah gue nulis apaan sih. 


Enjoy the rest of your day.

Namaste,
korra-dayo.

Sunday, 19 April 2015

Ay Vamos!

Hai. Setelah 4 bulan gue enggak nulis disini, rasanya kangen. Iya, gue kangen mantan blog gue. Engga ih, gue enggak kangen mantan, kok. 4 bulan terakhir ini emang sibuk banget buat gue. Tugas lah, ulangan lah, gatau deh sampai kapan cobaan yang gue dapet bertubi-tubi gitu datengnya, disitu kadang gue merasa sedih.

Hmm, tadinya pas di Bali padahal gue pengen ngepost trip report pas hari itu juga. Cuma, berhubung gue terlalu menikmati trip 3 hari gue dan sebenernya pas di Bali banyak banget kejadian yang bikin hati gue tersayat-sayat. Bukan gara-gara liat mantan jalan sama cewe baru, tapi ada, lah. Sedih pisan pokoknya. Nanti gue ceritain deh cerita cinta absurd gue di Bali di lain post. Itu bulan Januari. Penuh twist in my story.

Februari. Perlahan twist in my story jadi straight lagi. Kisah cinta gue dengan doi baru mulai menjadi lurus. Penasaran gak sama cerita cinta gue sama doi dari sudut pandang gue sendiri? Kata gue sih, enggak ada. Gak penting juga sih woy. Tapi gue pengen aja ceritain soalnya menurut gue cerita nya complicated dan unexpected buat gue.

Maret. Everything seems to be better. Di bulan Maret, gue dapet pengalaman baru, nih! Gue trip ke Bromo!! Nanti gue bakal post deh ngapain aja gue selama di Malang. Rame banget pokonya jalan-jalan di Malang.

April. Yes, bulan ini. Entahlah, bulan ini menurut gue belom ada kejadian luar biasa, sih. 

Yaudahlah ya, segini aja gue nulisnya. Yang penting gue mejeng di dashboard kalian. Kangen gue kan? Kalau engga, yaudah da aku mah apa. Gue ngepost mood-moodan sih:( 

Oh iya, sekarang gue jadi kontributor buat situs bikinan guru Fisika gue. Cek tulisan gue di: berbau.com

Wednesday, 31 December 2014

new year: let the past just be past.

Jangan pernah sesali 
Jangan pernah tangisi 
Semuanya yang pernah terjadi

Selamat tinggal masa lalu 
Selamat datang lembar baru
Selamat tinggal cinta lalu
Selamat datang cinta baru 
Selamat tinggal selamat tinggal
 Andra & The Backbone - Selamat Tinggal Masa Lalu

YES. 2014 is almost over, which means... HELLO 2015. Okay so I feel like in 2014, none of my resolution has been done hahahah but yeaa there's a few resolution that finally completed. Lihat ke 364 hari yang lalu, gue masih merasa tahun ini belom sepenuhnya yang ingin gue capai tuh terlaksana semua, yaa buktinya gue masih gini-gini aja. Ya, tiap tahun pasti aja ngerasa kaya gini. Ngerasa kayak ada yang kurang dan kayak ada yang belum dilakuin. Padahal, apapun yang udah kita capai selama satu tahun itu harusnya disyukuri. Semoga tahun berikutnya bisa lebih baik lagi, ya kan?

Speaking of new year.. Orang-orang pasti ngomongin resolusi, ingin gimana ke depan nya. Well, hhhmmmm for me... Tahun baru adalah ajang memenuhi resolusi tahun sebelumnya yang sebenernya udah direncanain dari tahun sebelumnya, makanya dari tahun ke tahun resolusi gue sama aja. 

Okay so here are my resolutions:
- rajin belajar (ngerasa tiap tahun ke tahun kayanya masih males aja)
- banggain ortu (kaya ada yang kurang ngebanggainnya)
- nabung uang (harus)
- KULINER JOMBLO BERJALAN LANCAR!
- no more sad
- more freakish lulz
- try something new
- find new experiences
- explore more
- eat more, weight less.
- learn sociology to chasing dreams: psychology <3
- WRITE MORE
- BLOG MORE
- buy new music albums
- i wish trip to bali would be exciting!! can't wait

AH SO MANY.

but hhmmm here's my special resolution / wish:

keep in touch again with a person from the past but this year i want things to be different and just forget what happened last year. heheheheheh.

yah. tahun baru, lembaran baru, cerita baru, tantangan baru, pengalaman baru pastinya. gak usah liat-liat ke belakang lagi deh taun kemaren udah ngapain aja. yang penting di tahun baru ini, harus lebih hati-hati lagi, jangan nyakitin diri sendiri. loh, malah ngomong ke diri sendiri. 

well.... semoga tahun 2015 ini bisa lebih baik lagi dan bisa lebih menata diri hmmmm can't wait for new year. anyway.. happy new year guys! have a great year ahead. this probably my last post in 2014.

namaste
korra-dayo

GOODBYE 2014!!!

lesson learned: 2014 taught me that not everything still remain the same. everything is changed. and we need to accept it no matter how hard it is.

bye, see ya in 2015.



Wednesday, 24 December 2014

Sneak Peek: Catatan Kuliner Jomblo

Hai, guys! Buat yang penasaran nih sama upcoming project gue dan temen-temen gue, nih gue kasih sneak peek nya :)

http://kulinerjomblo.blogspot.com/p/blog-page.html

Hehe, masih About Us nya sih. Tunggu tanggal rilis nya ya guys! Mohon doa restu dari kalian biar project satu ini lancar dan bisa ngasih hal yang bermanfaat buat kalian semua :)


Namaste
korra-dayo.

Monday, 22 December 2014

Upcoming Project — Culinary Journal: Kuliner Jomblo

Hi, people! So I want to announce you something about my new project: a culinary journal blog. The title is Catatan Kuliner Jomblo. Jadi, proyek gue satu ini dibuat bareng sama 2 partner in crime gue yaitu Fauzi Rulandi from Catatan Hati Fauzi Rulandi dan Irfan Althoriq, temen gue yang lagi galau dan nampaknya butuh pencerahan hidup jadi gue pikir proyek ini cukup mencerahkan hidup dia. Semangat bro, hidup penuh perjuangan. Penasaran kenapa blog ini bisa dibuat? Oke, gue cerita singkat aja yah. Lengkapnya bakal di post di blog itu nanti. Judulnya sih Catatan Kuliner Jomblo, padahal si Fauzi ga jomblo sama sekali. Tapi emang dia pernah jomblo. Irfan dan gue emang dua-duanya jomblo tapi beda cerita. Gue jomblo karena baru putus hubungan dan Irfan yang nampaknya lagi jadi jemuran. Untungnya, kita bertiga punya interest yang sama, yaitu suka banget makan. Tapi bedanya, gue makin gendut tapi dua cowo itu mah gak ada gendut-gendutnya. Jujur, gue seneng banget akhirnya proyek ini bisa direalisasi. Kenapa? Sebenernya gue pengen banget punya blog tapi khusus untuk review gitu. Entah fashion, makanan, atau travelling. Tapi akhirnya yang bisa diwujudin itu food blog. Seneng banget. Kayak tujuan hidup kamu tuh tercapai juga. Gue pengen bisa ngejalanin blog ini dengan konsisten dan tentunya penuh passion. Dan gue harap dengan blog ini jadi wadah buat ngeraih cita-cita gue untuk jadi blogger yang bisa berbagi hal bermanfaat bagi kalian semua.

Mau tau lengkapnya? Baca yah nanti di blog Catatan Kuliner Jomblo, yang bakal ngereview tempat-tempat makan mulai dari yang hits sampai yang food truck gitu dan pastinya cocok banget buat kalian anak SMA atau kuliah. Mohon doa dan restu dari kalian semua, yah! Semoga proyek kita ini berjalan lancar dan bisa ngasih kamu rekomendasi tempat-tempat baru setiap minggu nya, jadi hang out kamu gak ngebosenin.

See you soon! Daaaaan, tunggu tanggal rilis blog kami.

namaste,
korra-dayo.

kulinerjomblo.blogspot.com

Monday, 17 November 2014

i can't escape this now, unless you show me how.

They say it's what you make
I say it's up to fate
It's woven in my soul
I need to let you go

Your eyes, they shine so bright
I wanna save that light
I can't escape this now
Unless you show me how
 — Imagine Dragons, Demons

hi fella, back here. posting this sad-themed post. well probably i'm too drowning into sadness. yes, i am. i still in the sea of sadness. which is dark, cold, depressing, and desperate. i'm alone here. feels like no one can't help me to get out of here. i can't get out of here. it feels like something keeps me stay here even the situation is really bad. but i need to moving on to get a fresh air so i can breath, and keep alive


no, i still here. can't move out. drowning to deep.


it's been a month. yet, the pain still felt. i don't know why i still in this miserable pain. is it because i am too depending on him? probably. you know.. since he's gone, even though we'd still communicate, but i feel like i still depending on him. i'm a needy person. yes, it is. i just can't stay away from him. i don't know why i still want to be on his side. even though i know probably he doesn't want me to be on his side anymore. it kills me slowly. why can't i just stay away from him and let him go? as i said before, it's not easy to letting go. letting go a person who really means a lot for you. 

i had to choose; forget him or keep being like this and torture my own feelings and my mind.

i asked some advice from my friends, well.. yeah now i only share a story to few friends because i feel like everybody doesn't need to know a whole thing about my life so, yeah. and some of them said 'forget him, it's not worth it for you if you still remember him' this is really the worst advice and worst choice ever. but, i had to choose; stay in pain or happy without pain. it's hard. really hard. 


and, this is just confusing. at some point, my conversation with him after broke up is getting warmerand suddenly, it's getting colder. and when we met, he sometimes came to me, even though we only stared each other or he slapped my cheekin a good way, of course. but suddenly, in the next day, when we meet again, both of us just act like strangers who haven't met before.

on and on and on and on and on.

i don't know what it means. and slowly, my mind had a looooot of expectations. i expect too much, yet i also guessing.. what if he...— and my feelings towards him is growing up again, and when my feelings towards him slowly disappear... he come again and it growing up again. on and on and on and on. confusing. really.

and to be honest, this kind of situation really torture my own feelings and my mind. i felt like i want to scream and asked, 'what do you really want from me?' 'why'd you made me go insane?' 

they said i need to forget him, moving on, and enjoy my life. but what am i supposed to do when all my heart still have feelings for him? what am i supposed to do when all my mind is just thinking of him even though there are thousand million important things that i should worry about than worrying about him? it's torturing me. this is just so weird, what has he done until getting me like this?

anyway.. to be honest, this past one month i've learned a lot. i learned how i should communicate with him, how to do my thing without have to thinking about him every timeeven though i still in a progress for this. learned everything.... without him. without worrying about him. 

one day, i confessed to him that what we always do, whether when we were in a relationship or after broke up: arguing. that made me learn a lot how to handle a person like him even though there probably a lot of people out there who has a same personality like him but not as much exactly like him. he's only one in this world. but i feel like his argument made me turn my brain up-side-down so that i could say what i really meant carefully. and somehow, his words when we argued.. made me realized that what he said is true. and yes, i still remember the words that he said to me and it really affected to my life now. i never met a person like this.

good times.. good times.. i know the memories still stuck in my brain, which is why whenever i remember it again, my feelings started to be wild. heart beats so fast. and yet, the mixed up emotions which can transform become tears, whenever i remember those good times with him. but he also influenced my life now, i want to change my bad habit which he doesn't like when we still in a relationship. but not just for him, it's for me too. because i know sooner or later, people won't like my bad habit if i still doing it. actually there's a lot of things that i learned, and i remember.

i had to forget you, letting you go.

but please remember;
whenever you need someone to lean on, i will always there for you.
i will always there for you whenever you need me.
i will always there for you whenever you need someone to hear your thoughts.
i will always there for you when your heart gets cold.
yes, whenever it is.
whatever the situation is
i will always there for you.
just remember, you're not alone.
i will always there for you.

i need to escape from this miserable pain. i need to throw away my feelings for you and my expectations about you. i know it's hard. i wish by the time being, it slowly gone.

here are some songs that define my situation:

Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you,
And everything you do,
Yeah, they were all yellow.

I came along,
I wrote a song for you,
And all the things you do,
And it was called "Yellow".

So then I took my turn,
Oh what a thing to have done,
And it was all yellow.
Yellow, Coldplay

Still I always
Look up to the sky
Pray before the dawn
'Cause they fly away
One minute they arrive,
Next you know they're gone
They fly on
Fly on

So fly on
Ride through
Maybe one day I'll fly next to you
Fly on, ride through
Maybe one day I can fly with you
O, Coldplay

I could've been a princess, you'd be a king
Could've had a castle, and worn a ring
But no, you let me go

And stole my star
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la [x3]
You stole my star
La, la la la la laaaaaa

Cause you really hurt me
No you really hurt me
Cause you really hurt me
No you really hurt me
Cause you really hurt me
Ooooooooh you really hurt me, ooooooooh
Cause you really hurt me
Ooooooooh you really hurt me...
 —Princess of China, Coldplay x Rihanna

Searching to find myself
But all I find is you
I can hardly stand myself
So what am I to you?
If you can find a reason
You could let me know
I won't blame you
I'll just turn and go
 —Every Night, Imagine Dragons

I, I keep on running
I’m building bridges that I know you never wanted
Look for my heart
You stole it away
Now on every single road that I could take
Listen, I want you to burn my bridges down
I said, I want you to burn my bridges down
Set me on Fire
You set me
Set me on Fire
You can burn my bridges down
Burning Bridges, OneRepublic

Broken this fragile thing now
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces
And I've thrown my words all around
But I can't, I can't give you a reason

I feel so broken up (so broken up)
And I give up (I give up)
I just want to tell you so you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one that gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one

Made my mistakes, let you down
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone

And something's breaking up (breaking up)
I feel like giving up (like giving up)
I won't walk out until you know

Only One, Yellowcard

This, I guess, is to tell you you're chosen out from the rest...
Always In My Head, Coldplay

And I wish you could have let me know
What's really going on below
I've lost you now, you let me go
But one last time

Tell me you love me
If you don't then lie
Lie to me

Remember once upon a time
When I was yours and you were blind
The fire would sparkle in your eyes
And mine

So tell me you love me
And if you don't then lie
Lie to me

True Love, Coldplay

lol those pic for you guys:





 photo creds goes to: tumblr.com

well... what a long post, eh? hahahah sorry made you guys had to read this long but ergh who cares anyway it's my journal. lol. enjoy the rest of your night!

namaste
korra-dayo

Sunday, 9 November 2014

gue dan perumpamaan absurd.

hai. akhirnya di akhir pekan ini gue bisa nulis lagi. tentunya nulisin hal yang menurut gue gak penting sih buat gue post, tapi rasanya kalo gue ga nulis tentang pemikiran gue itu kaya.. lu gatel abis digigit nyamuk tapi lu gamau garuk. ih, meuni geleh. ya jadi tujuan ngepost hari ini adalah.. entahlah gue mau nuangin perumpamaan dan pemikiran seputar kehidupan gue yang makin menuju titik puspa terang. ga juga sih, itu mah majas nya aja di hiperbol-in. maklum, baru belajar majas di sekolah nih gue.

jadi, ceritanya. gue punya temen curhat gitu. cewe. umurnya 2 hari lebih tua dari gue. gue sama dia suka claim ourselves as November Babies. ya karena dua-duanya lahir di bulan yang sama, tapi beda 2 hari. yaudah. suatu ketika dia lagi curhat tentang kegalauan hati nya yang menurut gue agaknya complicated. maka, terpancinglah ke-sok-ide-an gue (so ide: so iye, sok-sokan, sok bijak) ya gitulah. jadi si temen gue ini galau. ceritanya gabisa lepasin seseorang gitu tapi at the same time ada yang lagi deketin dia. nah, dia bingung sama perasaannya. terus berhubung waktu itu gue baru aja belajar nyetir sama ayah gue, dan ayah gue sepanjang jalan ngingetin gue 'pokonya ya de, abis kopling di injek, lepas pelan-pelan terus pencet gasnya. kalo jalannya stabil ade lepas kopling terus pencet gas doang juga mobilnya maju.' dan pas temen gue lagi puncak-puncaknya curhatin keresahan hatinya, gue kepikiran sama apa yang diomongin ayah gue.

'Lo tau ga kopling sama gas? Jadi ya, mantan lo itu ibaratin kopling. dan orang yang deketin lo itu, ibaratin gas. lo tau kan kalau kopling harus di lepas pelan-pelan abis itu injek gas biar mobil jalan? nah, sama kaya gitu. jadi lu harus pelan-pelan lepasin mantan lo itu baru ke orang yang ngedeketin lu itu. nah kalo dua-duanya udah sinkron, pasti lo bakal maju kedepan.Kalo lo injek kopling terus bikin mobil berhenti. Jadi intinya lo kalo ngelepasin orang ya pelan-pelan, kaya lo lagi lepasin kopling, terus biar mobil lo maju, ya lo injek gas. Gas nya itu ya orang yang deketin lo.'

gue sih ya gampang aja ngomong gitu. tapi ngelakuinnya ga bisa. nyatanya, gue gabisa nyari pedal gas gue. pedal gas gue coplok. gue masih stuck di kopling. gas nya kaga ada. sebenernya mah sebuah pedal gas ga harusnya diibaratin terus sama manusia lagi sih.

tapi temen gue itu balik bilang gini,

'Gas lu sebenernya kehidupan lo, lit. Kalo kopling nya itu.. mantan lo dan segala kenangannya bareng dia itu adalah pelajaran buat kehidupan lo. Selagi lo lepasin, segala yang udah lo laluin itu bikin lo maju ke depan. Gue rasa sekarang lo lebih visioner sejak lo ga sama dia.'

bener juga sih. tapi gue gabisa lepasin si dia.

itu salah satu perumpamaan absurd gue. terus, ada lagi perumpamaan absurd gue yang kedua. baru banget gue bikin pagi-pagi. jadi awalnya gue chat gitu sama temen gue yang greget mau bilang selamat ulang taun ke kecengan abadi nya, terus berawal dari ngebahas itu, at some point dia bilang 'kaya ulekan sambel aja masih tahan lo.' besoknya (hari ini) gue chat lagi sama temen gue yang cewe itu. gue bilang 'aing teh... coet ulekan sambel' temen gue masih ga konek. terus, gue perjelas aja ya.

'Aku coet, dia teh yang ulekannya. Kan si ulekan numbuk-numbuk coet. Tapi lihat, mereka selalu berpasangan kan?'

coet: alat masak di dapur, untuk membuat sambal tradisional.


lihat, mereka selalu bersama kan?







ya mungkin segitu aja post gue hari ini. kurang absurd apa coba? sebenernya gue dapet inspirasi ngepost kaya gini karena temen gue tadi bilang, 'kesel sia perumpamaan maneh teh ih. bener tapi.'


namaste
korra-dayo